loving Ryan
by CharlotteBellaR
Summary: when fate brings 24 year old Alyssia and celebrity heart throb Ryan Summers together she couldnt believe her luck. But dating a supserstar actor is not as grand as it looks, can Alyssia deal with all of Ryan's baggage or is it all just too much for her?
1. Chapter 1

-Chapter one-

"Allie, please! Open the door! Please. Allie, let me in. Let me explain,"

His consistent rapping on my front door was starting to piss me off. Why couldn't he understand that I needed time? There was too much going on at the moment that i needed to process, i needed to take the back seat and just think about everything from a distance. With Ryan around i can't do that. His presence is forever overwhelming and it's impossible to think when he is around me, it is like everything i know melts away when he is near and all i can think about is him; how his ocean blue eyes twinkle when he smiles that wolfish goofy grin, how his blonde hair flops over his forehead when he leans down and kisses me. His soft pouty lips glistening wet after he's licked them when he's concentrating on something. His body, lean and muscular that makes me weak at the knees and my breath short when i see it. _Shit, here i go again. _I shake my head to rid myself of the image of Ryan topless and focus on the task in hand; pretending I'm not in.

My back is against the front door on the opposite side of where Ryan was hammering on. The banging has stopped and it's quiet, although i know he is still there, i can hear his heavy breathing through the wood and i know he won't give up until i let him in. I let my knees bend till I slide down the door and sit on the tiled flooring. It's hard and cool on my legs and backside and i let out a sigh. Pulling my knees up to my face, i rest my chin on the top of them and start to breathe, steadily and calmly.

If i had known 4 months ago that this is where i would be and that i would be feeling this way, i would have laughed, i would have laughed till my cheeks hurt and told myself to get a grip and stop day dreaming. The day Ryan came into my life was the day i questioned my sanity and whether it was time to take the 677 bus to St Luke's mental institution. I was utterly convinced i was going crazy and had started to dream up celebrities to fill the emptiness of my non-existent love life. Since i was going to be sat here for a while waiting for Ryan to give up and leave, i start to recall the first time i met him and how easy it was back then before everything started turning to shit.

I'm sat straightening my hair when i hear my phone buzz on the bedside table. Putting my straightening irons down and turning them off, i walk over to where my phone is and pick it up. Unlocking it, i see the text is from my sister, Rose:

***running a bit late. Can we meet at 11.30 instead? See u soon xxx***

I quickly text back my reply.

***Ok c u later x***

I place my phone back on the table and peek at my watch. Its only 10.50am so i have time to get something to eat before i leave. When I'm just out of my bedroom i hear my phone start buzzing again._ Someone's popular today._ Muttering a curse under my breathe i pick up my phone and look at the caller ID. It's my mom. _Shit i was supposed to ring her last night and i forgot! _I grit my teeth and accept the call, knowing it's going to be the same old conversation we have every time we talk.

"Hi mom,"

"Hey honey, are you alright?"

"Yeah i'm fine mom, why?"

"Ah just curious sweetheart, you didn't call last night. I thought something might have been wrong,"

"No, i'm sorry i forgot to call. Everything's fine, i was just out with some of the girls from work and by the time i got home it was too late,"

"Oh i see," there's a short silence before she adds quietly, "did you meet anyone?"

She's cut to the chase quickly today, she must be out, or at least about to go out. I sigh, "No mom i haven't, and before you ask, I'm not pregnant with your grandchild yet either."

She chuckles softly down the phone before saying "There's still time yet, Allie! Anyway, i just thought I'd call to see how you are doing. Have a good time with Rose today, love you honey."

"Love you too mom. Bye"

"Bye"

I hang up and drop my phone into my handbag. Since Rose is going to be late I decided to go to the city a bit earlier to get something to eat before i meet her, that way i won't have to listen to her "guess how many calories are in that" speech.

Before heading out I do one last check in the mirror. Makeup is fine, clothes are a little too baggy and hang slightly off my slim frame, but this doesn't bother me that much as I like being thin. I always have been. Thankfully, both my sister and I take after our mother in the weight department, and unfortunately, the small breasts department too. I quickly give my hair a brush and letting it fall down my back and over my breasts so that it just touches my belly button. From all of our family holidays to Florida and Italy back when i was a child, i have successfully gained a natural tan that doesn't make me look like an employee of Willy Wonka's factory, but instead compliments my golden blonde hair and emerald green eyes. After my quick inspection I pick up my car keys and head out the door, locking it behind me. _I best not get dragged around too much today, _I think to myself as I pull out onto the main road towards the motorway heading to the city centre. I've agreed to let my older sister drag me around London to chase celebrities that are supposedly staying in hotels there. She's more of a romantic than me and won't stop till she finds her perfect man (preferably a member of royalty or someone who has starred in at least one blockbuster). She is the kind of girl to not give up no matter how much heartbreak she puts herself through, whether it's one man, twenty men or a hundred, she still won't quit. I guess I kind of admire her for that really.

I'm very much the opposite of Rose, thinking about it. While she was playing moms and dads, I was pretending I was Lara Croft exploring hidden caves and looting ancient villages, lost in rainforests and clambering up treacherous mountains. While she was going to Take That concerts, I was scouring the back-alley shops for original Jimi Hendrix vinyl's and while Rose is studying to be a paediatrician, I am working in the local vets feeding and cleaning the unwell animals while dreaming about exploring the world and helping trusts and charities save endangered species. Considering we are only 3 years apart in age, we are light years apart in interests.

I park my Volkswagen Beetle just outside of the city to save on parking fees and decide to walk the 10 minute journey into town since it was a warm sunny day. Spring was almost over and the last bites of a cold wind were ebbing away and I found myself taking off my leather jacket and carrying it. I find my way to where I'm meant to be meeting Rose and settle in a small coffee shop across the street, choosing to sit in the window so I can see her coming. The waitress bounds over, swinging her pony tail as she walks and takes my order of a cappuccino and a blueberry muffin. Five minutes later she's back, placing a plate down with the muffin on and my drink and I soon tuck into the muffin, I am starving.

Sitting back I pat my tummy, its happy now it has been fed, and I look out the window before checking my watch. I let out a sigh. It's 11.35am and Rose is still not here, is that woman _ever_ on time?

Suddenly I feel a thump in the back of my chair and I get pushed forwards into my table. Startled, I turn my neck to see what had pushed me. A young guy has sat down with his back to me and his chair pushed into mine on the table behind me. He's hunched over his laptop oblivious that he has now trapped me between my chair and the table. I study his profile; he looks not that much older than me, about 26. He's got longish dark blonde hair that falls over his face and one of those long straight roman noses that my sister swoons over on guys. His back is arched over and his muscles ripple through his white shirt every time his lifts his cup to his mouth. And oh that mouth. What a handsome mouth he has. Such soft, full lips pouting as he continues staring at his laptop screen, and right on cue, his tongue slides out of his mouth and runs a wet trail across his lower lip, leaving them glistening and pink. At that moment in time I am instantly jealous of his cup, of it being able to rest on those lips and touch his small and delicious mouth over and over again.

I tear my gaze away from him and back to my cappuccino. I raise the cup to my lips to take a swig, when there is another thump into the back of my chair and knocking my cup so that hot coffee spills down my chin and front.

"Ow, fuck!" I hiss

I bolt up out of my seat knocking my chair back into his with such force that he spills his own coffee onto his laptop. Rage rises in me as I turn to confront him, holding my stinging chin. He too stands quickly and turns to face me with similar anger etched in his well chiselled face.

"You made me spill coffee on my laptop," he shouts at me. I'm taken back by his tone and I could hear his American accent clearly through his aggression. His blue eyes bore into mine waiting expectantly for my apology.

"Well you knocked into me with your chair and made me burn my face," I replied as I slowly remove my hand, revealing my now blotchy and reddening chin. I place my hand back by my side clenching it into a tight fist. He lowers his gaze to study my scalded chin and instantly his eyes soften and his tone is less harsh when he next speaks,

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise someone was sitting behind me, are you ok?" He turns round to close the lid on his laptop, hiding the damaged keypad and screen made by the spilt drink. When he faces me again he's holding out a white napkin towards me.

Taking it from him wordlessly, I look down at the napkin and then back to him. _How the fuck is this going to help?_ Throwing it on the table next to me I walk over to the counter where all the condiments are and the waitress who served me stands, goggling at the scene we've just made. I ask her for a soaked cloth and she runs off to the kitchens to fetch it for me. While I wait I glance back over to the American and see that he's starting to pack up his belongings and is shrugging his jacket on.

The girl arrives back a few minutes later with a damp cloth and I hold it to my face. The coolness of it is heavenly on my swollen skin. I walk back over to my table I gather my bag and coat, still holding the cloth in my right hand. Without a word I stalk straight past the guy and leave the coffee shop.

Outside the air is warm and the breeze helps bring down the redness slowly spreading around my face. I am so embarrassed right now and yet so angry! _Gah! _Deep down I feel slightly bad for being so harsh just then with the napkin, when he was only trying to help, but at the same time I'm too stubborn to give in and go back to apologise, after all he's just burnt my fucking chin!

Just then I feel soft strong fingers curl around my arm and gently pull me back. I look down and see perfectly shaped nails and long slender fingers gripping me. I follow the fingers to big hands and then up to powerful arms with a thin layer of blonde hair over them. I feel, rather than see his eyes on me, but when I do make eye contact, those intense blue eyes are looking down at me through thick dark lashes laced with concern.

"Please, I'm really sorry about what happened back there. I shouldn't have lashed out like that, I'm under immense pressure at the moment so my temper's all over the place. My laptop has a lot of important things on there so if it's broke I'm kinda screwed. Please let me make it up to you. I can take you to the emergency room if you'd like, or I can go get some ice and ice your chin, or..."

He's mumbling. He's mumbling so fast I can hardly hear what he's saying; it's something about icing my chin or a laptop or something along those lines, all I can do is stare at his mouth. _I wonder what it tastes like._ I hold up my free hand indicating for him to stop talking and like an obedient puppy, he does. I take a deep breath and speak calmly yet firmly,

"Look don't worry about it, I'm fine. I don't need any ice, but thank you for the offer. Also I'm sorry about your laptop, I'm willing to pay towards getting it fixed if you want me to, but I have to go, my sister has just arrived. Here is my number; you can call me about fixing a price for your laptop."

Rummaging in my handbag, I retrieve a pen and an old receipt and scribble down my name and number before passing it to him. He takes it from my hand, accidently brushing his fingers against mine and sending tingles up my arm and making my breath catch in my throat. He too does a sharp intake of breath and blinks at me with wide eyes and parted lips. _Whoa! What the fuck is happening right now? _He looks down at the paper and then raises his eyes back to me, studying my face like he's finally seeing me for the first time.

"Alyssia?" he says quietly. A small smile plays on his lips. "What a pretty name. It seems a very fitting name for someone equally as pretty. I'm Ryan" _Oh! _Why is my heart beating extra loud and why are my insides quivering like some school girl with a teachers crush?

_Jesus Christ Allie get a hold of your hormones you pathetic woman._

I mentally slap myself and make a note that I need to get laid soon before my raging libido starts making me hump inanimate objects from desperation.

"Th-thank you," I managed to stutter. Suddenly I hear Rose's familiar high pitched voice. It pierces the bubble we seem to have created around us and I'm brought sharply back to earth. I look behind me and I see her running across the road waving her arms in my direction and showing her all white, girl-next-door trademark smile. She slows down when she gets nearer to where we are standing and starts smoothing her highlighted blonde hair down. Even all flustered she's still a sight to behold and even out of breath she is still catching the eye of every male in nearby vehicles. When she reaches us she holds out her hand to all-American boy Ryan and completely blanks me altogether. _Hi Rose, I'm fine thank you Rose, thanks for asking Rose._

"Mr Summers my name is Rose Burnett, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you, I am such a big fan!" she gushes shaking his hand rather vigorously. At this point I am completely lost. How does she know his last name? And a fan of what? What does this guy do? Surely she's mistaken him for someone else; it wouldn't be the first time she's done that, that's for sure.

"Do you mind if I have a picture with you? It would make me so happy!" she still shaking his hand.

"Um, yeah sure why not, I guess." Ryan has finally been able to get a word in and has pulled his hand from hers and is flexing his fingers from her vice-like grip. Rose throws her phone at me, clearly expecting me to be the photographer and get a picture of them both. Sulkily I open the shutter on her phone and snap a couple of shots of them; Rose looking excited and to be honest rather crazy, and Ryan, looking calm, collected and so goddamn cool. I hand her mobile phone back to her and gathered my jacket around me. It was getting colder and I was getting bored of standing around watching Rose swoop and swoon over Ryan, and secretly, I was getting jealous too. However I am hoping I not just imagining Ryan glance at me every couple of minutes while being bombarded by Rose's rehearsed questions. At one point he looks at me, starting at my hair and slowly making his way down my body, studying and analysing every bit of me right down to my boots. It makes me shift uncomfortably but at the same time makes my insides squirm with excitement. Afterwards he smiles a slow and lazy grin, like I've passed some sort of internal test of his.

Eventually I decide it's time to part ways. Rose has done enough question grilling and I really want to go home now. My chin is throbbing. I interrupt Rose in the middle of "what was your most challenging acting role to date so far?" to say

"Listen as lovely as this has been we really need to start heading off Rose. I have a lot of things to do today." I grab her hand and tug her away from Ryan. I then mouth at him as she is gushing her goodbyes to "call me with laptop prices." while making a hand gesture of pretend typing on a keyboard, in the air. He nods and says inaudibly so that only I can hear him,

"Until the next time, Alyssia, goodbye" and he winks.


	2. Chapter 2

Later that night I am sat in my arm chair in my t-shirt and sweatpants, reading Ian Banks 'The Wasp Factory'. It was a book of my fathers and he has loaned it to me to read. So far it's alright, however as hard as I try to immerse myself in it, I can't stop letting my mind wander back to those soft topaz eyes looking at me, searching me and capturing me. Just then I get an idea. Putting down my book I stand up and walk over to my desk and I fire up my computer. American guy's name rings a bell and I'm pretty sure I recognize him, from which movie though, I don't know. I'm not really one for watching movies so my knowledge of movie titles and actors is shockingly low, I prefer listening to music.

I open the internet and bring up the Google homepage and then tap in Ryan's full name. Straight away Google throws a load of websites at me about the actor and musician Ryan Summers, and I decide to click on the first website. Scrolling my mouse down I quickly scan across what is written. It looks like a mini biography and a list of movies he has starred in. I'm shocked that I didn't recognize him straight away; he seems to be pretty famous from what I'm reading. Searching through the list of movies he's starred in I let out a low whistle through my teeth. _He is way more famous than I thought _I mutter as I click on the images tab. Suddenly Ryan is staring at me through the glass of my computer screen in a black and white picture wearing a suit with slicked-back hair. There is another one, but this time he's wearing a t-shirt and khaki pants sat on a beach somewhere tropical gazing into the camera with wind-swept hair and grizzle covering his jaw and cheeks; he looks beautiful. I can't believe that this is the same guy in the coffee shop who offered to ice my chin; the same guy I gave my number to, to help pay for his damaged, coffee-smelling laptop. _He's never going to ring me. He's loaded for crying out loud so why would he need my money _I realize._ He's probably already back in America now. _Disappointment swells in my gut but at the same time anger takes residence there too. Why would he go for someone like me anyway? I was unaware that over the last couple of hours I had been raising my hopes up that he was going to call and that I would get to see him again, but now, looking at the pictures, I realize that's never going to happen.

I close the internet and turn the computer off. It was late and I have to be up early for work the next day. Switching the sitting room light off I pick up my mobile from the table and unlock it. No messages and no missed calls. I sigh and walk into my bedroom, plug my charger into my phone and climb into bed. My soft Egyptian cotton duvet cover felt wonderful against my skin and was cool on my sensitive chin. Rose had once again dragged me around every prestigious hotel in central London to sit outside for hours on end hoping to catch a glimpse of the rich and famous, so my feet are thoroughly throbbing. I wish Rose would just be like everyone else and join a dating site or whatever. Ever since we came to London she has had this dream of having a life changing event happen resulting in Rose rolling in money and fame with 7 children. All I want is a nice apartment that isn't going to rape me of all my wages in rent. I let my mind drift and before I know it I'm spiralling into a sleep filled with long fingers, wet mouths and a deep slow American voice whispering in my ear.._. until the next time Alyssia..._

Monday at work is going quickly and by the time I look at my watch it is 2.30pm. I have already fed and watered the animals and I've cleaned all the cages out in the isolation room where all the extremely poorly animals are kept away from others to avoid stress and any diseases they are suffering from spreading to other creatures. I love my job. It is the only place I can just be myself and not have people judge me because the only company I do have, are domestic animals and to be honest, cats and dogs practically love everyone. Doing what I do calms me and allows me to relax, so if I have had a hectic weekend or some bad news, being with the animals relieves all that tension and lets me forget about everything for a few hours.

I walk into reception and let Claire the receptionist know I'm going for my lunch break. Claire is a lot older than me and has a husband and 3 kids, she's Scottish and she always makes me laugh with her stories of wild nights out. Claire smiles and gives a nod of her auburn haired head to let me know she's heard me. It's another bright sunny day again so I decided to eat my lunch in the park across the street. Finding a shaded quiet spot I take out my lunch box and as I take a bite of my chicken salad sandwich, I feel my phone vibrate in my overall's pocket. I fish it out and unlock it. It's an unknown number. _That's strange._ Frowning, I read it.

***Hi want to meet 4 a drink? We can discuss prices for laptop repairs? Preferably not coffee :p* **

_Oh my god it's him! He's texted me! Ah! _My stomach is doing somersaults and my heart is racing. Ryan has contacted me! I suddenly don't feel hungry anymore as I reply, my hands shaking as I press the keys.

***Sure why not. Want to meet at 5 today at Vinoteca?***

It takes a couple of minutes before my phone buzzes again with Ryan's reply,

***Awesome see u then x***

I feel like school girl right now. I look at my watch, its 2.45pm. I have another thirty minutes until I have to be back at work and I have two hours until I see Ryan. I put my mobile back into my pocket, pack up my lunch and power-walk to the closest high street shops. I will have to quickly buy a pair of jeans and a t-shirt if I want to look presentable and not smell like animals when I meet him. I find a pretty blue strappy top in New Look and a pair of black skinny jeans for a reasonable price. I don't bother buying shoes; the boots I'm already wearing will suffice. I pay for my things and jog the way back to work, only just making it back in time and waving to Claire as walk to my locker and put my stuff away.

Time has decided to go ridiculously slow now that I am looking forwards to something and I walk around looking for anything to do to around the vet practise to help pass the time. I clean the operating room, I tidy the staff room, I exercise Benny the greyhound, I give the newborn kittens their shots and soon enough, five 'o' clock comes around. Before heading out I nip into the ladies room and change into my new top and jeans. I quickly untie my hair and try to brush the kinks out that my hair tie have made and pinch my cheeks to put a bit of colour in them. _Ok, here goes_ I tell myself and leave the bathroom. I give Claire a quick wave and shout

"See you tomorrow, Claire!" She waves back and replies "Bye, Allie!"

I jump in my car and exit the parking lot. Five minutes later I arrive at Vinoteca, a wine bar in Soho that is quiet and where no one will bother us. When i enter the bar I spot him straight away. He looks breathtaking. Ryan is wearing a white t-shirt, black jeans that grab in all the right places and a black leather jacket that makes him look like a bad boy from the wrong side of town. _Wow. _I try to regulate my breathing as I walk towards his table and hope to god I don't trip or fall on my way. He hasn't noticed me yet so I have a few more seconds to appreciate his features. He sits with his hands together and his fingers intertwined with his eyes down looking at his hands, deep in thought with a furrowed brow. His hair is messed up in that sexy just-fucked way, and as I get closer to him his lifts his eyes and fixes me with his stare. He stands and holds out his hand, a shy smile on his face while he assesses what I'm wearing. My cheeks blush as I give his hand a shake. His grip is loose and his hand is warm and soft as it covers mine completely. _You know what they say about guys with big hands... _Again I blush at that thought and bat away any naughty thoughts that my mind is unleashing on me. _Jeez I feel like a cat in heat._

"Hey," he says softly in his deep voice. I melt inside.

"Hello," I reply, trying to keep my voice low and from getting too high-pitched. I suddenly realise how British I sound now against his American ease of an accent. I release his hand and I take a seat in the chair opposite him and he also takes a seat.

"Would you like a drink?" He asks politely.

"Yes please," Instead of it coming out like a normal voice it comes out sounding like a strangled cry so I cough and try again. "Yes please." He smiles and beckons the waiter over- a tall lanky boy of around 19 with bad acne. "A bottle of Moscato D'Asti and two glasses, please." He says and the boy nods, turns on his heel and walks away to get it. I have no idea what a Moscato D'thingymajig is. Ryan turns his eyes back to me and smiles coyly and I realise I've been grinning like a Cheshire cat since I walked in here. He takes a deep breath and starts to talk,

"Um so listen, I want to apologise for yesterday - for causing your coffee to spill on you and burn your chin. I didn't realise I had my chair so far out. Also I'd like to apologise for my behaviour, I realised afterwards how much of a jerk I must have came across as- I'm not usually like that. Like I said yesterday, I'm stressed at the moment so I'm quite short tempered right now..."

He begins fiddling with a piece of skin on his finger and glances at me to study my face to probably try and figure out what I'm thinking.

I reply in my softest voice, "It's alright, seriously. It was just the shock of it that made me freak out, my chin is fine, and please, call me Allie – Alyssia seems so formal, also I'm sorry about your laptop, I'm sure it was worth quite a bit. How much was it worth if you don't mind my asking?" I lower my eyes as I say that because I'm feeling pretty guilty about it. Ryan shifts in his chair uncomfortably, and at that moment the waiter brings the bottle of wine and two crystal clear wine glasses. The boy sets the glasses on the table and uncorks the bottle before pouring it up to halfway in the wine glasses. He then sets the bottle on the table, smiles and backs away to wait other tables. I lift the glass to my lips and take a sip. It tastes amazing and it's so light and crisp with a fruity aftertaste that lingers on my taste buds after I've set my glass down. I must remember not to drink anymore than this one glass since I still have to drive home. Ryan takes a sip too and hesitates before saying, "Well, actually, there's something I have to tell you- my laptop is not broken, in fact it works perfectly fine. All my coffee did was make my keys sticky,"

So if Ryan's laptop is not broken, why are we here, sat in this bar? My stomach flips deliciously and my insides are squirming with joy. _He came to see me,_ my subconscious whispers to me and for once I'm nodding in agreement with it. _Why else would he text you to meet him? _I decide to play it cool and pretend that I don't understand.

"So if the laptop isn't broken, why did you ask me to meet you if it wasn't to discuss the repair of it?" I crease my brow to show him I'm confused and he flushes and starts to play with the piece of dry skin on his finger again.

"Well," He pauses like he's trying figure out what to say, "I wanted to see you and I was worried that if I asked you out you would say no." He says the last part quickly and doesn't take a breath till he's finished. My mind is going crazy right now. I feel like hugging myself. I take a gulp of my wine and hold it in my mouth a moment longer to capture the refreshing flavour. I can't stop a smile stretching and growing on my face and I shuffle forwards on my chair to move closer to him.

"I wouldn't have said no. I didn't think I would ever hear or see you again after I realised who you were." I confess to him. Ryan peaks at me through his thick lashes and he eyes are ablaze with something dark and exciting. It stirs me deep in my belly.

It feels longer than a few minutes that we sit in silence and watch each other, but the moment is soon over when his mobile starts ringing. Without looking away he reaches into his jeans pocket, takes out his mobile and presses a button to answer it before putting it to his ear.

"Yes?" His tone changes and his words are clipped and cool. I can hear the tiny murmur of someone else on the other end, though I can't make out what they are saying.

"Yes. I'm here for another 2 weeks. No, get Maggie to email me the papers and then I'll get them back to you once I've ran over the script and I'll let you know what I think. Ok, bye."

Ryan hangs up and slips his mobile back into his pocket and then leans forwards with his elbows on the table.

"I didn't mean to listen into your conversation, but you're here for another 2 weeks? Here? In London?" I ask

"Yeah I am," He pushes a piece of hair out from his eyes, "Why? Would you like to see me again Alyssia?" He smirks at me. The way my name rolls of his tongue sends a shiver down my spine. It's positively mind-numbing. I flush and nod my head while stuttering "well, I mean- like sure, I mean, I don't... I don't really... I'd like to see you again I guess... that's if er... I mean, if you would like to as well..." He interrupts my mumbling to place his hand next to mine so that the tips of our fingers are touching; his slightly overlapping mine. His touch is exquisite and I can tell he too feels the electrical bolts shooting through his fingers from our contact.

"Will you see me tomorrow?" His blue eyes bore into mine.

"Yes," I breathe. I don't have to even think about it.

Thankfully I only have half a day tomorrow at work because we have the work experience students in so I finish at one. I tell Ryan this and we agree to meet afterwards.

We sit for maybe an hour or so talking and sipping on the wine. I've learnt that Ryan was born in Canada and his parents are Thomas and Dawn and they divorced when he was younger causing him to choose which resulted in him living with his mom and his sister Keira. Dawn is a teacher and his dad works as a salesman for a paper mill. He had trouble getting through school and got diagnosed with ADHD which made life harder for him to make friends and causing him to get suspended a few times from school. I sit and listen to him intently, completely enthralled by just hearing how normal his life sounds and how realistic his problems are to that of any other person. It is hard to imagine that this is the guy I read about on the internet. This is the guy in the images.

_He just seems so...human._

Ryan's attention turns to me now. "So, since I've told you a bit about my life, I think it's only fair I hear more about you, you're a mystery to me still." He traces his fingers around the edge of his wine glass. I shift uncomfortably in my seat. I've always hated being in the spotlight and right now I feel like I'm in the Spanish inquisition just from the look from this one man.

"My life is pretty boring compared to yours," I start, "I was born in Stevenage, my mom's called Charlotte, and she's the best mom in the world. My dad's called Frank and he's the kind of father to sit in his armchair, smoke his pipe and make the odd sarcastic comment here and there," Ryan laughs. An earthly, non-godly laugh that makes me melt inside and makes Ryan seem more and more real to me. I smile, embarrassed, but continue. "He absolutely adores my mother. They are still together and my dad's retired while my mom works as a part time cleaner in a school. You've met my sister Rose; she's older than me and is studying to be a paediatrician. I work in a vets and I'm saving up to travel to Africa so that I can take maybe a year or two taking part in conservation work to stop the poaching of endangered species."

I pause and take a sip from my glass, enjoying the cool liquid flow down my throat. Ryan's looking at me with soft eyes that are crinkled at the side from his smile and his chin is sat in the palm of his hand.

"That sounds amazing Alyssia, you're an amazing woman, you know that?"

I can feel my face reddening and my eyes drop to my hands that are folded on the table. With just a handful of words this guy can break me down to a mush of a woman with no self control and a bad case of embarrassment.

"You don't take compliments very well, do you?" He states with an arched eyebrow.

"I'm not used to getting them very often"

He leans forwards and places his hand on mine. "Someone as stunning as you should get at least one every day. I would make it my job to ensure you are told every day how pretty you are, just so you don't forget."

My breath hitches in the back of my throat and in-between my legs ache at his proximity to me. I don't think I've ever wanted anyone this badly as I do with Ryan. If he propositioned me right now to nail him in this restaurant, on this table; I would. Jesus Christ I _so _would. Although, as much as I feel amazing right now from his words, my conscious is nudging me telling me not to get too excited as he's probably said that to a hundred other women. I push those negative thoughts away and look at my watch. _Holy crap! _It's already 7.30! We've been sat here for over two hours talking, blissfully unaware of the wine bar slowly getting emptier.

"I've had a really great time today Ryan," I say as I shrug my jacket on, "but I've gotta get home and get a shower and stuff for work. Where shall I meet you tomorrow?" Ryan stands up to move over to where I am and grabs my jacket to help me get my arm in it as I was sat struggling with finding the sleeve. His fingers brush my shoulder, leaving a trail of fire on my skin that burns right to my loins. Once my jacket is on, he grabs my hair and pulls it out from where my jacket had caught it, letting it flow over my shoulders and down my back. I grab my handbag from under the table and stand to face Ryan who is only a few inches taller than me.

"Can I walk you to your car?" he asks

"Sure"

I walk towards the exit of Vinoceta and I feel Ryan place his hand at the small of my back. Even just the smallest of touches from him, just simple things here and there, are making my pulse race. He moves quickly to jump in front of me to open the door for me and gestures for me to go through.

"Thank you." I smile at him and he smiles back.

Outside the air is cool and there's a small breeze that ruffles Ryan's hair as he follows me down a side street towards where my car is parked. We walk in silence for a few moments before he stops abruptly and turns to me, frowning.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I ask

"Did you by any chance pay at Vinoceta?"

"No, I thought you did?"

"Nope I didn't."

"So we are rebels and have basically just stolen a bottle of wine?" I start laughing, feeling all of the worry and tension leave my body as I let the laughter out.

"Basically? yeah. Look at what you're doing; you're turning me into a criminal, Alyssia." Ryan starts laughing too, a deep and throaty, masculine laugh.

I'm backed up against the brick wall bent over with my hands resting on my knees and breathing hard from laughing. Ryan is stood above me laughing too and when I finally get my breath back I stand back up and look at him and without warning he cups my face in his hands and kisses me. Hard.


	3. Chapter 3

-Chapter 3-

Ryan's lips are soft and warm. He tastes like the wine from Vinoceta along with his own twist of manliness and mint. At first I'm momentarily stunned by his suddenness, but then I feel his tongue sliding across my bottom lip, teasing me and opening me up to receive him. I feel like my entire body is on fire, combusting at the feeling of Ryan's mouth latched onto mine. I pull him to me by his white t-shirt and wrap my arms around his neck while ploughing my fingers into his soft, unruly blonde hair pushing his tongue further into my mouth as I meet him, welcomingly, with my own. He smells like soap with a smooth underlie of something sweet and homely mixed with sweat; he smells like safety, like warmth and like sex – he smells delicious. He keeps one hand on my cheek, stroking gently with his thumb, while his other hand moves down past my shoulders and then rests it on the curve of my waist to push me back against the brick wall of the building behind me as our mouths clash and our tongues converge, caressing with such tenderness that it makes me want to cry. After some time we pull apart and come up for air, our breathing ragged and irregular. Ryan's forehead is pressed against mine and his eyes are closed as he tries to regain his equilibrium. I am panting like I have just ran a marathon and thoroughly turned on at his body still pressed up against mine, his erection evidently clear, straining against his black jeans and nudging me in my hip.

"Jesus, Allie," he breathes.

"I know." That's all I could say right now. My emotions have become a train wreck and stringing a sentence together is damn near impossible in my weakened state here against this brick wall. Ryan rubs his nose against my forehead before pulling away and he looks down at me through his long eyelashes, his eyes looking even brighter and more intense than before. He holds out his hand and I slip my own into his grasp, allowing his large soft hands to curl around mine as we continue to walk to my car. We reach my beetle and the air has suddenly become so awkward.

"So... this is my car." I point to the yellow Volkswagen beetle parked behind me. I stuff my hands into my jeans pocket and fish out my car keys.

"It's er... bright." Ryan grins at me and raises his eyebrows. My car is pretty cheerful in colour. I bought Pandora when I was 22 with my savings from all my summer jobs I did working abroad in bars and pubs in Ibiza and Greece. After I'd finished school at 16 I attended college and walked away with an Animal management qualification, allowing me to legally work with animals. I didn't make many friends in college so after my course was over I spent my summer moping around my parents house until they got fed up of me and bugged me to get a job. I drifted from job to job, from working in a jeweller's to a sandwich shop to then getting told about the summer jobs abroad. I thought taking a job overseas would be good for me, you know, broaden my experiences; try to open my mind more etc. Anyway, most of the other people I worked alongside wasted their wages on getting drunk and partying, whereas I knew what I wanted and to be honest, I was sick of getting the bus everywhere back in England; I wanted me a car. So I saved and saved and when I was back home, I went car shopping and came away with Pandora.

She's been with me through thick and thin over the past 3 years and has witnessed me crying at four in the morning from breakups, she's tolerated me making out in her backseat with guys, and has even kept me company when I temporarily slept in her for a week when I was waiting on my flat in London to become available to move into. Pandora is my big, canary yellow four-wheeled, air-conditioned, 200 horse-powered, baby.

"So I'll meet you at one 'o' clock tomorrow?" Ryan confirms, breaking the silence.

"Yeah sure, if the weather is nice we could maybe go to the park or into the city centre?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea, "he shrugs, "publicity and all. I'd rather not stay too long in the public eye, especially with you."

"Oh." _Ouch. Nice one._ I turn my back on him and stuff my key into my car door, his words stinging like a bitch-slap to the face.

"No, no no! I didn't mean it like that!" He grabs hold of my arm and turns me back to face him, frustration visible in his voice. "I just meant that, I've only just met you. I really like you Allie and I don't want to scare you off by pushing you in front of cameras and the fucked up world that I live in. You're too innocent for that. It's like I feel the need to protect you from it all because I like how it is now. I don't want to ruin whatever this is," he waves his hand, "that we have."

His desperate look is all I need to see, to know that he's being genuine. This is all really intense right now. I've only just met him and I already feel like I'm deep in something that I know will hurt me in the end, but at the same time I feel like if I was to back out now, and nip it in the bud while it's still early, it will be the one thing I will regret when I'm old and dying. Even if it is just a fling that lasts no more than a few weeks, it's an experience right? Any other girl would love to be where I am right now. I don't see this as me being used or becoming another notch on Ryan's bed post; I see it as me having a good time while I'm still young and when he goes back to America and he decides to get with somebody else, at least I can say I had a good time, and I got laid.

Man, I should have been born a dude.

"Don't worry about it." I give him a quick reassuring smile to let him know that I'm not upset. "I will see you tomorrow,"

"I will meet you outside of your workplace, is that alright?"

"Ok, no problem, we'll figure something out tomorrow on what to do." I reply whilst I climb into my car. "Bye, Ryan."

"See you."

When I get through the door to my apartment I dump my bag and keys on the hallway table and head straight for the bathroom. Inside I strip off my clothes and kick off my boots before stepping into the shower. I turn the water on and let it pelt down on my back, scolding my skin at just the right temperature to massage my muscles underneath. While stood in the shower I think about Ryan and how messed up things are going to get. If he is too afraid to be seen out in public with me what hope is there of having any fun? Are we going to be sat in seedy secretive bars all day hiding in case someone recognizes him? I was really hoping to take him around London, show him things that I like and find some mutual ground and figure out what he's into and what his interests are so that we have something to talk about after we've had sex.

Oh yes.

I've already decided that sex will happen real soon. Going by what happened in the alley earlier and the raging sexual tension between us, it's inevitable. As I scrub myself down with body wash, I can't help but let my mind wander to our kiss. I can still taste him on my lips; feel him pressed against my body, the outpour of heat radiating from his erection and the sweet wetness of his mouth probing my own with his strong, resilient tongue. I would bet a large sum of money on Ryan being good at going down on a woman. Holding onto that thought, I close my eyes and let the water cascade over my head while at the same time letting my hand wander down past my navel to the folds of skin between my thighs and pushing them apart to find my clit with my fingers. I gasp as my fingers find contact and at the rush of pleasure that sweeps up through my body. Rubbing in a circular motion, I imagine Ryan undressing me and then kissing my neck as he fondles my breasts, giving them a slight squeeze with his big hands, taking a nipple with his thumb and forefinger and rolling it until it becomes hard and erect under his expert touch.

I move my fingers from my clit down to my opening and slide a finger in. I'm surprised to find it slick with essence from my arousal. Even just the thought of Ryan is doing things to me and I pull out to re-enter with two fingers and start to move them inside me, massaging the inner wall of my cunt, sending waves of desire coursing through my body while keeping the circular motion going on my clit with my thumb. I can already feel my pulse quickening as my fingers get faster and faster at the thought of Ryan pushing his thick cock into me, stretching me and filling me to the brim as he then begins to pound away at me.

The heat starts to rise in my body and the familiar heaviness starts to pull at the muscles in bottom of my belly in that delicious way that makes me know I'm close to the end. I place one hand on the tiled wall and carry on thrusting with my fingers, in and out, while my thumb resumes rubbing and tickling, I can feel it getting closer. I'm getting desperate as I search for my release with my eyes closed. Images flash in my head of scenarios, positions and rooms that Ryan could fuck me in and the sounds he would make as he gets closer to his own release.

With a sudden cry I climax, hitting that sweet spot over and over again, feeling it course through me in waves with each fresh pulse of pleasure taking me. I carry on rubbing my clit until the last ripple of my orgasm ebbs away, leaving my knees weak and me feeling physically spent. I rest my head against the coolness of the tiles for a moment as I come back down from my high and my breathing slows down. Once I'm calmer I quickly wash my hair and then turn the shower off.

I'm laid in bed all dry and snug in my pyjamas and I'm feeling a lot more relaxed and happier after my shower. I am excited to see Ryan tomorrow, but now after my adventures in the bathroom all I'm going to be able to think about is 'I masturbated over you last night.' I actually feel rather shameful and embarrassed. I'm not the kind of woman to see a sexy guy and then rush home to masturbate over him; I'm usually a lot more controlled and composed, but there's something about Ryan that just makes me want to lose control and just give in to every bodily desire, which is stupid, I know, considering I've only just met the damn guy.

I've decided to re-watch the film Rose brought over a few weeks ago when we had a movie night. It was my turn to host this month and her turn to choose the movie, so she brought one over called Blue Valentine. I watched it with her but to be honest I thought it was a pile of shit and a waste of 112 minutes. I'm putting it on again because Ryan is the main guy in it and I'm hoping that with the change of circumstances, I can see it in a new light, plus it will give me more time to perv on him and see him at what he does best. I press play on the DVD remote and settle back into my pillows and before long; I feel my eyelids already growing heavier.

At 9 'o' clock the next day I pile into work with a change of clothes in my bag and a smile on my face. I feel like a school girl again waiting for her crush to meet her from school. _Urgh. _As I make my way to my locker I walk past the consultation room I hear a strange noise that stops me in my tracks. I trod backwards a few paces till I stop in front of the door and I listen carefully. It sounded like someone was crying, but I couldn't be too sure. It's too early for any patient appointments so there shouldn't be anybody in there because Rick the head vet is not usually in until 9.30.

I hear it again.

With my ear against the door it sounds like sobbing with troubled breathing, instincts immediately kick in and I open the door with force to get to whoever's inside, who may need help.

A wave of mortification passed over my face as I am met with the gruesome image of Claire the receptionist bent over with her cheek pressed against the wood, her breasts spilling out of her blouse and her knickers around her ankles and her skirt crinkled around her waist. Rick is stood behind her with his hand on her hips and his trousers unbuttoned and god knows what else because at that point I close the door on their horrified faces. I race into the staff room and set my bag in my locker. As I shut it I hear the door open from the consultation room and frantic whispering between Claire and Rick, second's later Rick walks into the staff room and shuts the door behind him. He looks nervous and is messing with the pockets on his white overalls. I busy myself with the kettle and set about making myself a cup of tea.

"Listen Allie..." Rick moves towards me and stands with his back against the kitchen counter and looks down at me. Jeez I can smell the sex on him. "what you just saw back then, it's not what you think, Claire and I, we have an understanding-"

Rick what you and Claire do in your spare time is none of my business. It didn't happen ok?"

"I-"

"It didn't happen, Rick." I turn and look at him with finality in my eyes. It _was_ none of my business, but what has annoyed me the most is that I look up to Claire; she's this wild and crazy lovable woman who's always telling me about her children and her family holidays with her husband, and here she is getting fucked by the head vet on the consultation desk with her panties round her ankles. It's pissed me off. I actually feel disappointed in the both of them; I feel like scorning them both like an angry mother. Rick nods, pulls his glasses from his pocket and puts them on. He then turns and leaves the staff room, it's almost 9.30 and our first appointment will be here shortly. I sit at the small table with my cup of tea and take a moment to file what I've just seen.

I wonder how long they've been at it for. I wonder if anyone else knows. What will her husband do if he ever finds out? Does Rick have children? A wife? I mean, yeah Rick is not exactly the ugliest person in the world, in fact for his 43 years of age, he's looking pretty good. There is not a streak of grey in his brown hair, his tan is forever brilliant from his yearly holidays and he works out regularly – this is know because he once gave me a lift home while Pandora was getting her MOT test and he had his gym stuff in the back seat. He clearly looks after himself. I sigh. I really don't need any more shit to clog my mind up with; after all, it's not my problem. As long as it doesn't affect my work then it's fine.

For the next 5 hours I get down to work and manage to get all my jobs done and I even have time to watch over a spinal operation on a dog who was ran over. I have a feeling Rick is being super nice now since he let me stand watch over a procedure and even now as he's telling me that I can leave at 12.30 instead of 1 'o'clock. _Hmmm. I could get used to this treatment; I should witness people cheating more often. _I take him up on his offer and head into the bathroom to change. I've come more prepared today with a brush and my mini makeup bag. I slip on my blue faded jeans with strategically placed tears that show off some skin, but not too much to rob the mind of any imagination. I pair them with a checker shirt I got in the sales last winter and I leave my white vest on underneath so that if it gets too warm I can take it off and still have something on underneath. I apply a bit of mascara, blusher and lip gloss and pile my hair into a lose bun, allowing a few runaway strands of hair to fall down. Today I've got for the 'I've made an effort but not too much of an effort" look, which I hope I've managed to pull off. A small amount of perfume behind my ears, a dab on each wrist and a drop in my cleavage and I'm all ready. When I walk out of the bathroom, I hear voices in reception and buy the low bass of a man's voice I can tell Ryan is here and must be talking to Claire. _God damn, Claire. _I haven't spoken to her today yet and I don't really intend to. I don't know why I'm so annoyed with her specifically, I should be angry at Rick, but I have more of a friendship with Claire. When she offers advice I take it- I listened to her.

I see Ryan sat in one of the leather waiting chairs next to a lady who can't tear her gaze away from him. He's itching behind the ear of her golden Labrador who's sat with her head on his lap enjoying the attention he's giving her. I smile as I walk over to him and out of the corner of my eye I see Claire ogling at him and then back to me; however I pay no attention to her and eventually reach Ryan. He looks up at me with big blue eyes before a smile stretches across his face. His flawless skin, long lashes, straight nose and pouting mouth makes him look like he's carved from marble. To me he is the definition of beauty. You get your 'hot' men, and handsome ones; but then there is Ryan; he is beauty, pure, raw and brilliant beauty. He stands up and allows his eyes to run over my outfit, drinking in every curve of my body until he meets my gaze again.

"Shall we go then?" he asks and offers out his hand.

"Certainly." I reply and slip my hand into his. Our fingers link and it makes me smile how ordinary we look. Claire still stares while we walk out of the vet surgery, but I don't look back as I step out into the afternoon sun with Ryan.


End file.
